Etwas

We’re back to the program after a few exciting months, which have felt like a VERY long time. More on those later, I promise. Until then, here are two posts that have been in the works and need some airing. This one is about “The Naked Period.”

The Naked Period was about finding myself after spending four years on a study that I enjoyed. It was a period where I tried out different things and worked on projects that were fun, while trying to find a clear or secure direction.
A period where I was limited by the educational ceiling and my own geographical complacency.

But it was fun, creatively fun, and at times challenging.
I miss it a little.

2017 – Many small streams…

In a white-painted studio, 30 art students sit. They are scribbling, drawing, and working with charcoal and black-and-white pastels. Each has an easel in front of them, actively sketching me.

I’m sitting on a sheet-covered chair on a podium, with one leg resting on a small stool, the other on the podium. One arm rests on my thigh, the other on an armrest.

I MUSTN’T MOVE A MUSCLE.

They were kind enough to turn up the heat in the studio; otherwise, I’d be freezing, naked as I was. I’d been sitting for three hours at that point. Not moving. I planned to bring my headphones the next day so I could enjoy a podcast or some music.
I was modeling for three days at the Viborg Animation School, six hours each day with one break halfway through. On the first day, I did nothing but sit and more or less stare blindly into the room, thinking or avoiding thinking until a new thought came along.

Easy money for sitting and looking noble.

“Break,” someone says. I wrap a towel around my waist and look at the works the artists are working on. It’s pretty wild. I get a halo in one of the pictures and look VERY serious in others.

The cursed educational ceiling…

I graduated as a journalist in 2016 and made peace with the fact that I wasn’t going to be a traditional journalist. The educational ceiling cost me the opportunity to start a new bachelor’s, so I reluctantly began searching for a steady income.
I didn’t find any steady journalism work or income until I started as a telemarketer at 5R Marketing and later as a PR employee at Østerskov.
Even though my ex and I lived cheaply in Aarhus, the money or the few hours weren’t enough for a young man of 23-24 who needed to be doing something. So, I started looking for side jobs.
This led to some… interesting… career choices.

LEGO Man

Among other things, I worked for two modeling agencies, which offered fun assignments for LEGO and then LEGO again but with a different task, and apparently also a job as a hair model. And then yet another job for LEGO.
I’m apparently a LEGO man.

EVENT Man

I also worked for a live-action role-playing event company in Jutland, which gave me many assignments for a relatively low pay, many hours of preparation, driving, and then finally 2-3 hours of execution. Then driving back, packing up at the warehouse, and going home to return the car I usually rented for the occasion since I didn’t own one at the time.
I still don’t like event work to this day, but I got “event creator” on my CV, which was useful when I later switched to full-time event and PR work at Østerskov. But I didn’t complain. Many small streams, I thought, and I had fun working on so many VERY different tasks.
Knight trials, sword fights in libraries and institutions. It’s fun when it works, and when the participants are having fun. But I could never sleep before such an event. 2-3 hours before, and then off in the morning to reach some far-off destination on Djursland. SIGH. I don’t miss that.

TELEPHONE Man

I also worked as a telemarketer. The less I say about that job, the better. But it gave me empathy for telemarketers. It’s a thankless job, hard to match.

PART-TIME Man

Through my ex-girlfriend, I got in touch with an employee at Østerskov Efterskole at a book reception. When he confirmed that their current event manager was out of commission for a while, I jumped at the chance with an internship and a crazy hope of landing a teaching job with MINIMAL qualifications.
I didn’t get the teaching job then, but I snuck in part-time when an opening for a PR employee and substitute teacher appeared (no, I didn’t eliminate the competition; he moved to Zealand!).

And then finally, croquis.

NAKED Man

I often dropped by a friend in Mejlgade in Aarhus, where I spotted a poster about “Croquis at the City Folk High School.” It looked interesting, so I took a closer look at the poster and signed up.

The first evening went by quickly. I changed in a storage room. I was a bit nervous beforehand, but once I got started, it felt like the easiest thing in the world. And it is. Stand still for 30 seconds, 1 minute, 2 minutes, and 5 minutes. Vary between each pose. Repeat until the time is up.

The first time made me want more, so now I had 4-5 income sources. Sometimes night work came up for a moving company, and I also modeled clothes for Minimum for a while, but that didn’t last.

I was trying out different things. Working on many weird tasks, and enjoying the strange routine that slowly emerged. I didn’t know where I was headed, but I felt better as I had something to get up for.
I slowly gained value in my own eyes through the tasks I took on. At the same time, I also learned to appreciate my body.

Something about the body

When most of the period was about being an event creator, why not call it “The Event Time”?

Or “Screw you, educational ceiling, you evil budget cut from hell… time”?

It’s because I became comfortable with my body during that period.
Exercise had helped in the years leading up to it, female attention had boosted my ego, but after several years with a negative body image, it was a great experience to have my body perceived as just that.

Just a body.
Not a product like in the modeling world, not an object of desire like in the city.
It was just a physical form that was meant to be depicted at various time intervals.
It demystified my body for me. I didn’t worry about being naked, whether my form was good or bad, or whether the lighting was flattering (it rarely was!). I just had to show up, be present, follow instructions, and keep track of time.
The body was just a body. What I did with it in that moment didn’t matter because the moment was gone in a minute, and then it was on to the next pose, the next moment, the next contortion to challenge the artists. It became fun, all of a sudden. A strange interplay between me and the artists. No thinking, just instinctive movements and no embarrassment.

But as I got more tasks at Østerskov, I began to prioritize that.
The last assignments at Aarhus Art Academy were sometime in 2018, before I moved to Hobro in 2019 and suddenly got incredibly busy. I consciously stepped away from the event industry during those years; I didn’t have the energy to do all the things I had been able to when I was really young.

The Naked Period ended the moment I signed my full-time contract.
With that came titles and clothes. First PR guy. Later, German teacher.

November 2023

Two pillars in the middle of the room. A stool in between with a blanket. A kettlebell that I brought with me. White tiles on the walls, as it’s an old hospital building. There are around 30 people, but all unknown faces and blurry figures, thanks to my poor eyesight.

A band is rehearsing in the next room. It sounds dark and with an incredibly heavy bass. Awesome!

The first session is over, and we move on to the next round.
6×30-second poses.

No time to think, for me or them; it’s all about moving and being in the moment.
It’s not about thinking, just about being present. Accepting the first and best idea while I move, freeze in the movement, make a wild grimace, and hold it for the minutes the pose lasts.

The end, the last two 5-minute poses. In one, I sit and look like I’m incredibly bored. In the other, I lie down as if I were the crucified Christ.

I think it’s almost too much, but by the time that thought comes, I’ve already laid down in the position, and the clock is ticking.

Done.

I pick up the towel and cover myself; the organizer thanks me for being there.
I bow and smile. The artists applaud me. I get dressed to look at the artworks.
“It’s cool how you make so many grimaces and facial expressions when you pose,” one of the artists says. I smile broadly and thank her many times; I hear it a few more times later.

I look through the pictures and am impressed by how many images they can create from me as a starting point. More of this, I think, as I put on my jacket and step out into the winter cold.

A different kind of period?

The Naked Period left its mark.
For better or worse. Body awareness and being relaxed in my body was one of the good sides. Challenging myself to be in a situation where there’s nothing else to do but clear my mind and just be. Throwing myself into a variety of uncertain situations without knowing where I’d end up.

Maybe it’s coming back.
I can do much more now, yes, but even more importantly, and unlike in 2017, I no longer fool myself into thinking I can’t do anything. In many ways, I dream of uprooting myself, starting a new education or a new direction, and discovering what I’m capable of. Again.

Because there’s much more I can do. I know that. Maybe I’m still limited by my geographical complacency. Or by the fear that I’ll have to change my finances and living conditions to find the new path into the unknown period that’s looming.

I don’t know.
But it’s sure to be fun.